Content Reading excerpt
Chapter 1
1.-THE MANIFESTATIONS OF SO MUCH PAIN IN OUR INTERIOR
I know you feel bad. You feel bad all the time. Your life is confusing. I am referring to the inner part of it. You have thousands of sensations, thousands of emotions all the time. They don't stop. Thoughts that bombard you internally at every moment, all day long. You take refuge in your work, to try to distract them, to find some serenity, some peace, to distract your mind.
You can also take refuge in your family, in the love you feel for them, in a romantic relationship if you are single, but as soon as you are a little bit alone, the inner voices, the emotions come back with force. You basically feel fear, anger, uncertainty, insecurity towards the future, guilt for the damage you may have caused to other people, but the most serious thing, what kills you most inside, what liquidates you, is that you feel bad, and you don't know why. You don't even know what you feel. That feeling bad inside without knowing why, does not let you be happy, or at least does not let you be at peace.
This unpleasant feeling translates into outbursts of anger, bad mood, sadness, permanent discomfort. Other people annoy you and have not even opened their mouths. You regret going out in the street, running into someone in an elevator. You feel uncomfortable all the time and you don't know why. You are successful, you have money in your wallet, in your bank account, you look good in the mirror, and yet you have no peace in your soul.
In human relationships you are no better. You are easily hurt, and you also respond aggressively. In turn, the people who interact with you are also delicate, touchy. It seems that we are all going crazy. There is no affective, loving, labor, stable relationship that can withstand so many flows of feelings and emotions. Evidently, we all feel bad. It is a kind of collective internal malaise.
I sincerely think that the whole planet feels this way, to a greater or lesser degree, and I am not exaggerating.
In other people this discomfort manifests itself as a permanent bitterness, they are always upset, they talk bad about everyone at work, at the university, at home with their family. Nothing satisfies them, they are never happy. There is always a reason to complain. If they don't complain about other people, they complain about the weather, about the work, about the country, about other human beings, about life, there is always a reason to express the torture that it means to be alive, and to share life with other human beings. At work it is the colleague who always speaks ill of others, who criticizes everyone, only he knows how to work, the others don't know how to do anything. They are not intelligent. At home he criticizes his family members, diminishes his spouse, his children. Everything goes wrong, except him. People are not at his level, he feels superior, deep down he is the most unhappy person we can know. Everyone knows it but him.
Many people go to a psychologist, a psychoanalyst, a psychiatrist. They spend years and years in therapy and do not manage to solve the origin of so much chaos. The therapist examines the mind, their past, their memories. They can spend two, five or even ten years talking, rummaging through the person's past, but nothing changes. Nothing improves. The patient unburdens himself, improves a little, feels accompanied, but deep down, he continues to feel bad. His existence remains painful in spite of the therapy.
The feeling of unpleasantness remains. In spite of therapy. Despite going to church, synagogue, or mosque. You just feel bad, and you can't solve it.
In religious temples, the sacred speech comes to your mind. It seems wonderful to you; it tells you that you should love, that you should feel compassion for others, but you keep feeling bad inside, day by day, and you see that you want to, but you cannot really love your fellow men, because to love, you must feel good inside.
Some take refuge in pharmaceuticals, those who are worse off. Others in alcohol, compulsive shopping, gambling, all try to find an external distraction that makes them forget how bad they feel inside. We all have a common denominator: the dissatisfaction, the discomfort comes from within. There is nothing external to soothe it. It only distracts.
Others, the younger ones, take refuge in their cell phones and social networks. Hours and hours a day, looking for an external stimulus, a distraction, a goal. Something that makes us look outward, not inward. Any nonsense we see, no matter how futile or superficial, can be useful to distract us. To forget what we feel inside.
Have you seen how sometimes, rich people who have more free time and see many of their daily worries solved, sometimes end up victims of addictions? Have you seen how many times they cannot maintain lasting personal or romantic relationships and in very extreme cases, they can even commit suicide? It is not that they are stupid, or irresponsible, or want to destroy their lives. Nor is it that success inevitably comes with these addictions or that they are all sick in the head. It means they have more free time, many of their problems solved, and so are more in touch with the inner malaise we all have. They cannot escape if they are alone, without distracting responsibilities, perceiving these unpleasant sensations. Wealth and well-being lead them to be sitting in a chair looking at themselves in the mirror, and what comes from within, from their soul, torments them and they want to escape somehow.
